Relationships are organic !

Relationships are important in our lives .... with our spouse, our children, our friends, and many others. We all want to see our relationships grow, become more meaningful, become healthier, feel safer. There are parts of our relationships we would like to see changed, to grow in a more positive direction.

Change is inevitable in all relationships, for good or bad, but growth is optional.

So, if you want to see your relationship grow ... think about it organically!

Relationships are truly organic so what does this really mean? Like all organisms, relationships require certain nutrients to grow. So, if you want your relationships to grow, to become stronger and healthier, it is only reasonable that you will need to make conscious choices to promote that growth. Organic growth focuses on improving the quality of your relationships and your life. This requires creating the conditions and discovering the nutrients for your relationship that allows it to flourish and to find a balance that makes it sustainable over time.

Research suggests that fulfillment in romantic relationships, like marriage, tends to decrease over time. It was thought that this was related to couples having children and that happiness and satisfaction would return after the children were grown and launched from the home. But recent studies have actually shown this is not the case. What does happen is that couples do not prioritize nurturing their relationships; they do not intentionally put important nutrients back into the soil of their relationship. When they fail to do this there is a gradual decline in the level of happiness and emotional connectedness in the relationship.

Here are two suggestions or nutrients that will help your relationship grow:

1.) Schedule a weekly or biweekly date night with your partner. Go to your favorite coffee shop or restaurant and ask the waitress to find you a cozy, quiet corner to sit in. Have an agreement that you will not talk about problems but rather discuss the positives things that are happening in your job; what life has been teaching you about yourself; how your kids are doing in school; where you would like to go for a family vacation, etc.

2.) Have two or three Marriage Meetings per week that last about 10-12 minutes. Husbands go first and take 5 minutes to talk about what is going on with their work; something new they recently learned in the past week; a goal they are working toward; and something that really made them happy in the past week. The husband ends his conversation by telling his partner one thing he respects, admires, or appreciates about her. He then asks her to paraphrase, or repeat back, what she heard him say. Then the wife does the same thing for 5 minutes.

This is a great start for creating an intentional relationship. Enjoy the journey.